Is it possible that friend really does know my big secret. Friend was discussing therapists with me today, and sent a recommendation. No biopolar listed. But what do I see? This therapist specializes in lgbt clients. and yes the T is definitely there. Not like well, I know about lgb so lets add the T. No, I think this therapist is down with the T which means my friend knows and there is no longer the need to keep up the charade. I want to tell her anyway. I’ve wanted to for a long time. She seems like she would be a good ally for me to have in my corner.
Anyway, I guess I should come up with some way to ascertain once and for all if she knows. Now is the right time to tell her. What am I waiting for? Nerves. What if she laughs, makes fun of me, decides she can no longer hang with me? Nah, I don’t see any of that happening. But I hope she doesn’t treat me any differently. Well, negatively. If it is in a postitive light, then alright, bring it on!
I’ve made up my mind, I will allow her into my tiny world. As in, a tiny amount of people know about me. Only tw0 people that are currently in my life, and one is darling SO. So friend, I want you to be the 3rd. No suspicion. I’m sure there are rumors or thoughts about me. But, in no uncertain terms do I want Friend to know. And so I will tell you, thus confirming what you may already believe you know, by the New Year. It will be a New Years gift for both me and you. Me = expanding my circle, hopefully in a positive way. You = knowing for sure, and accompanying me on this journey, if you wish. Oh, how I’d love to have you along! But time will tell…
Nervous, but ready. Honestly, not really that nervous. I am thinking more about SO, and how it might affect her and her relationship with Friend. It seems Friend would be a good outlet for SO. And Friend would be a good outlet for me. Hopefully, Friend does not have to make a you vs me type of choice. That would be unfair, but I have to realize that these types of situations are possible, and indeed, likely. I will be pitting friends against friends. I don’t want to ruin anybody’s life, or upset anybody. But damn, I know this path is going to require that most people associated with me experience some pain, uncomfortable moments, and some embarrassment. It is going to require that people examine themselves and their beliefs. Because, this is gonna test every one of their liberal thoughts. We’ll see who can actually stand the heat. Hell, I don’t even know if I can. But I think it is time to try. To put serious effort into moving forward with the “t” word. What is that “t” word? Well, dear readers – I’ll leave that up to you to discern!