mumbling and stumbling

This is going to one of those scattered posts, jumping from here to there. But who knows?  We may get lucky and get a cohesive story our of froggystyle.

There is a standard story of teh trans. It goes something like I known since I was 4. And that’s is. Pretty much across the board, people knew at a young age that something was off, and a majority of those people knew it had to do with their gender.

I would say my gender dysphoria probably kicked in around the early nineties. Sure, there were signs well before but it’s easier to see now than back then. Back then it wasn’t suffocating. Just an idea, a notion, that something was off.  Anyway,,,,

Listening to Antony and the Johnsons right now. I came to Antony through his song with Boy George. I really like this choral cabaret sound that was buzzing back then. These songs are wonderful for introspective moodiness. And that’s me to a T* at the moment.  Thinking hard about SO and knowing that I am crapping loads on the poor thing. But SO should know, that were this the opposite, I would be 100% supportive and would show that support by staying with you and trying to adapt a bit. I would also hop online and find some groups for spouses of trans people I know it would be hard to change my mind on something so driven to the core, but for SO I would fight.

But yeah, Antony’s voice is great and I dig the loungy cabaret-ish nature of music . Nice horns with the language of the soul allowing for the words to spill easily from brain to fingers to document. It must be said, however, that I am thankful for spellcheck because my spelling and grammar have been remedial at best these last few months. I really have no reason to make fun of the internets collectively poor use of grammar and spelling.

I do love early mornings, and this is indeed one of those. Guess I should put the beaujelais down so I can function today. Funny how I can smoke weed and do stims all day and be fine, but drinking and I’m down for at least a day!.  So I’m switching to tea. Either Willow, Peachberry Jasmine, or some Javavana for a kick! Sip slowly friends.



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