Overextension

Maybe I overextended in my estimation of my ratio last time back. So, I said  85/15 Sofia/Stuart. Well, no lie,  right now it is probably 60/40. And its strange, I’m listening to Antony and the Johnsons. Amazing album called  Turning. It is absolutely gorgeous! It’s everything I want right now but but but – hurtful. and its true i always wanted love to be filled with pain…and bruises-  you see what I’m saying> It only gets better. But fuck, you know what I’m gonna do? I gonna put Limp Bizkit Faith and jump around for a bit!  Tout a l’heure.  I’m gonna finish the Beaujolais too. It’s Sunday; I do have to work at 3 but I am working from home. Awesomesauce.

Quickly, November of 2013, I decided to start using social media.  I had withdrawn from the world once again.Year  A near death-experience in Florida confirmed our move back to Atlanta, and as quickly as possible. (Big Ups to SO. We kicked ass). So we moved back in 2007. I went on disability for 3 years which really tested us. So yeah, I didn’t work for three years. It was time to go back so I hit up the staffing agencies and got a job at Ecova. So great! Just right down the street, and at that time I had a shitty car, so it made it even better. Being in the office allowed me to regain some footing in the the social beast which from now on will be called the cafeteria.  I had to deal with different people, both on the phone and face-to-face. Took a while but I got comfortable enough to venture to social media. I already had a FB account but hadn’t used it much. SO and I were going on vacay so I launched my FB part deux with some posts of the trip. I had an idea though and I wanted to test it, I was going to give myself one year on FB using it to it’s fullest to satisfy my needs. I decided to keep it up through the holidays, and the experiment is officially over, And Friend 1, no lip from you! This is not scientific, it’s Sofiatifit – awe screw it. I got lost in the letters.  it is irreparable  Anyway, the general idea  or thought is that after my withdrawals, do I use social media as a crutch to gain a foothold in society again? Is the act of me using FB showing a step to a rejoining of society? Or is it a place for me to hide away from the world, encode myself in secret code, write truly awful torture porn poetry – The last time this happened, 2000-2002, I locked myself in my parents basement. This is where my serious love for Buffy comes from. Because that was very close to my lowest and all I did was watch Buffy and cry, windows closed and curtains drawn. My first episode was the musical. Perfect. Back then FX was running BtVS like it was going out of style; 2 new episodes in the afternoon, 1 in the morning. Well, I had a date!  And very quickly involved myself in the Buffyverse.. So when I say Buffy probably saved my life, that is not a joke. Season 2 had just started, I think the praying mantis one. Quickly, I became an expert. I was on official boards (Shouts out to my Bronze Fam. Can’t forget the UPN crew either) Because of my depression, Buffy was extra intense, and this is probably why it stll holds so many tender feelings associated with it. Hell, SO had to hold my hand while I cried through the final episode. Anyway very quickly after getting my BtVS fix, I guess my dad noticed I was getting better and started pushing me to get a job.. Got a job at Media Play, but F that, I was in the book department. Home sweet Home. Almost immediately, I called some old friends. One of my friends birthdays was coming up, and we were going to go out. SO we’ll stop here for now. If you don’t what year it is, well, this happens to be the night I meet SO…………………

Real quick Edit: No limp bizkit. This album is too beautiful. But I am going to switch to Ryan Adams right now.

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