Friends 3 and 4 have been given the key. Now Friend 5 is coming in town. Friend 5 is an old school friend; while we haven’t kept in touch,my guess is they will be as cool as ever. I will slip them the key before they leave, so they have some lite reading on the return journey to their homeland.

Parents: Usually, when confronted with particularly jarring news, I just blurt it out. Meaning, at some point I am going to have a diarrhea of the mouth incident. No amount of mouthwash is going to take care of this smell, though, lulz! It will all just come spilling out, as these things usually do. Because, in the end, I don’t expect my parents to turn me away. I have, however, reserved 15% just to be shocked and overwhelmed if they do turn me away.  These are good, God-fearing people. They should be kind and all that shit, right?