Transition – You will often here transition in relation to Transgender people. Shouldn’t be surprising. Transgender people are functioning with a brain and mind map that is telling them they are one gender, but the world is telling them something different. One way, and often the only true way to correct this problem is transition. Transition varries from person to person. What one person needs may not fill the needs of the next person. But some type of transition is often necessary for the trans person to remove the dyspohoria that comes along with the jarring sense of being in the wrong body. Transition, then, seemingly takes away the dysphoria but leaves a whole host of other problems, or so I in my pre-hrt state would think.
Not mentioning recovery from expensive and invasive surgeries, but just trying to live. Yu know, find housing without being discriminated against. Things like not having the entire world stare at you or openly mock you. Changing your name, getting a license, and all the other mundane, day-to-day things cis people take for granted. And so have I…
So now we come to the crux of the issue of transition. You often hear that, in order for a transsexual or transgender person to correct their defect, some sort of transition is needed. Whether it is breast removal for MBAFs or breast augmentation for FBAMs, first you gotta come up with the money. And there is the potential for a lot of surgeries, totaling a lot of money. But that’s not even the big thing that is bothering me right now. What is getting my gonads atm is this narrative that, in order for this trans person to live a full and functioning life, they must transiton by having most or all of the surgeries. Fuque, losing track here….
What I’m getting at is that there will be other narratives coming out, where it is not life or death. But it is an issue of a life lived more comfortably. Some people may just want to change genders. Not sure why, but if you want to, go for it.
I wonder about myself. What do I need? What do I want? Will hrt give me tits, or will I need a little nip/tuck(including FFS and other shyte). For me, I’m not gonna kill myself from the trans thing specifically. My dysphoria is pretty all-consuming though, at times. But damn, I can’t afford surgery, so lets hope for the miracle of hrt.
I know I’m rambling, but that is because I’m teetering on the edge of disclosing stuff too personal. Even the most personal of bloggers holds that little something back. Ir’s the third face, you know? The face you show everyone, the face only those close to you see, and third, the face no one sees. Well, that is where I am and I’m not sure I feel comfy adding that stuff just yet. So, I’m holding off. Maybe in the future, I can let myself be the vessel for the words; for now, I will close with a bientot!
EDIT: Wanted to add more rambling. Essentially, everything up top boils down to do I need to transition? And if I don’t need to, is wanting to enough?
Personally, and unfortunately, I think I’ve reached that stage where something has to be done. We’re talking years here, people. I think it’s time to transition. Funny, I guess I will have many moments of doubt, but all I have to do is look back on the last 8-10 years to see the progression. From the very beginning just wondering what the fuck was wrong with me, to knowing I was different but not sure how or why or what made me different, to finally putting a name to it and owning it. At the very least, hrt is necessary. We’ll see after that. No more words now…I must close my eyes for a bit.