I’ve noticed that some of my recent posts have been all doom and gloom. I promise this is not the case. There is a lot stuff going on(also in the process of moving to a new community after 9 years) so it seems like my head is always surrounded by negative thoughts. Like right now, for instance, I am calm, and looking forward to the changes that my second puberty will bring me!
I wanted to touch briefly on me reaching out to the trans community. I realize now that I have announced myself as trans, I need to seek out like-minded individuals. Often, this will come in the form of group sessions and is usually facilitated by a therapist. So my objective for this next week is to reach out to a couple of these groups, see if I can find a match, and see if the group allows SO to come with as that would greatly reduce my stress and make it easier to attend one of these meetings. I have always liked crowds, but liked my 1 or 2 friends within the larger crowd. Going to a function like this is not natural for me. I am not used to putting myself out there. And to enter a space that I haven’t frequented (lgbtqi safe spaces) too much has its own set of rules. And I don’t know them. And you know what. That is okay. Because I don’t know everything, and I don’t have to know everything. Everything is Everything. And everything is new!! And should be held, as such. Each experience should be cherished and digitally or manually documented, so that when all this transition stuff is done, and I’m just livin’ life man, none of the next few years will matter. (Ihopethisistrue)
I spoke last night and throughout the day with another trans lady. Even though the conversations have been digital, they have come with a variety of experiences. When to listen, and let the other rant, when to help back them off that ledge (recently, and very scary), and when to allow my feminine nature to come out. Really, in terms of my “feminine” nature, I don’t know how different my personality will be after hrt. That will be fun!!! Can’t wait!!!