Making The Jump

A few days ago, one of my friends made the jump!  She changed her name from her boy name to her real name: Mia!! Congratulations, girl!  She is my only trans friend, and even though she is in another state, I’ve become quite attached to the idea of the type of friendship where we check in on each other several times a year ( like 6 or 10 times, lol).  I don’t think this will ever happen, but it is good to think that we could keep our correspondence going.

All this name change on Facebook came with a barrage of posts from her. From corsets to spikey high heeled shoes, Mia has exploded back onto FB. It used to be 5 posts a day MAX. Now it is double that, which doesn’t bother me.  More stuff for me to look at! Hahahaha!

Now that Mia has gone and put her name out there, I am wondering when I should make mine public?  It’s locked and loaded and all ready to go; typed in but NOT made public yet.  It is set as a nickname, currently, so it is able to be hidden. Like a safety net; but damn, what if that net fails? What if the name Sophia gets out before I want it to?  Would that be such a bad thing?  Probably not.  I am kind of delaying things.

Per Dr Klein (my psychiatrist) I may be avoiding telling certain people about being trans, i.e. my family until there are changes, until I gone too far to turn back. Then I will tell them.  And I admit, after typing and playing that over in my head, it doesn’t sound fair to my family to throw this trans thing on them and expect total acceptance.  Wait! that is some b.s. Yeah, I should expect total acceptance. I may not get it, but I deserve it.  Anyway, I may tell my family earlier than I had originally planned, but at the moment anxiety is a bitca!  Luckily, I’ve got Kpins for that!

Back to the FB name change, or more to the point, the name unveiling may have to wait until I’ve informed my family. Not all of them are on FB.  ATM, there are 2 left. But these two are married and oneof them is my sister.  So we’ll see how all this goes.  I may sjust pull the trigger in a few moments. Nah, never mind. I don’t feel like being on FB right now, and releasing my name would take some poking around. Come on, I am proficient at FB but some skills are beyond me, lol!!

So, what did I learn from this entry?  Well, not a damn thing. I’ve already known about the way I am handling things on the family end.  It’s kind of like letting it leech out into the public so that it will hit my family somehow.  Now, my dear parents are not on FB, but my sisters are. As one sister already knows, maybe the other will pick up on the additional name. Who knows, that’s the hope anyway, I think. It makes directly dealing with the issue of coming out again a moot point, kind of. Well, in the sense that I’ve come out on FB and that is how they found out kindofadeal. Okay, I’m going to stop because I am sounding crueler and crueler by the stroke. hahahahahaha

Below is one of SO’s old works she did for me.  There is a poem that goes along with the painting, but as it is 2-3 pages long, I won’t be posting it here.  The painting is on two canvases and it is of a heart. Along the sides of the heart it says ~The Heart Does All The Work…The Mind Takes All The Credit.~ which happens to be the last lines of the poem. AWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!  Isn’t SO the bomb dot com? It is an old work, and we didn’t take the best care of it; there are noticeable fingerprint marks on the canvas (sucks). I love it, and wish SO would paint, draw, and generally do more art. That is what she is really good at. She has a passion for it. I wish there was a way she could pursue it full time, but nope nope nope.  Gotta make it work part-time.wp-1468914766596.jpg



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