Untitled, UnMastered 3

Another quick post, and only because this thought just popped into my head while washing my face, then looking in the mirror (ah, that pesky thing).

For a good portion of my 43 years, have suffered from dysphoria, and couldn’t shake the feeling that  I was born wrong.  Like I should have been born a girl.  This thought (and the requisite pain, agony, and questioning) brought me to where I am now: taking hormones to feminize my body.  But fucking damn, I don’t want to lose everything in order to feel normal.

Or maybe I should switch that up a bit.  Is there a way for me to feel normal without needing more than HRT?  Dressing at home is fine, and the occasional jaunt outside the house is fine too.  But I’m not about to do any RLE b.s. without the ‘mones kicking in a bit more.

I think all of this is coming up because I know I am going to have to tell my parents sometime soon.  This is bringing a ton of stress on me, and is probably why I can’t sleep or function without medical help, both legal, and ridiculously illegal. Like, I’m not suicidal (anymore), but I am beginning to question if I can go through this.  the political climate is such that any trans person, if they don’t HAVE to start social or medical transition, probably shouldn’t.  I don’t know. Right now, I am in a holding pattern. Waiting for the hormones to work, trying to find a job, and just trying to stay alive man! Groovy. Not really.  More like poopy.

Enough ranting. TTFN


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