Brunch With Friends

Yesterday, during brunch with some great Friends, the following question was put forth to me:  Do you feel more like Sophia or Stuart most times?  In fairness, I have written on this very bloggy blog that I sometimes feel like Stuart, but mostly Sophia.  Well, now I need to clear this up.  When I am at home, I am Sophia 1005 of the time.  When I am out, I am Sophia 100% of the time.  How I dress shouldn’t necessarily affect what is going on in my mind, you know.  Hopefully I am being a bit more clear.  See, I can always BE Sophia but still have some mental traits of good ole Stuart. Stuart is the identity that served me pretty well for some years.  And in societies eyes’, I was and AM still Stuart.  It makes for a useful disguise sometimes, but mainly makes for awkward encounters.  I still get a lot of sirs.  I still answer them.  Even I am still conditioned to answer to my old name, to answer when someone says ‘sir’ in my direction- stuff like that.  It is annoying and slightly embarrassing, but I have a wonderful SO and great Friends who minimize the red, stinging cheek, knowimsayin?

Anyway, quick answer for all you out there.  I am Sophia; hear  me RAWR!! hahahahahaha! Stuart is just a name for the masculine side of Sophia. Since I’m Sophia, what everybody is actually responding to is the years of masculinization  (Not even a word; or wrong word altogether) that cruelly left me as a dude rather than a chick.  Fascinating stuff, trying to separate and explain to others what is actually going on inside my little brain.  So much work that I am going to stop writing and do something else fun.  Until next time, readers of the page (I borrowed that bit from Anne Rice), live well!

EDIT:  I want to thank Friend for asking the questions!  It gets me to probe even deeper into this murky part of life for some of us!!


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