A Minor Revelation?

Maybe?  Who knows? Well, I know. I think. I think I know.

Here’s what has slowly dawned on me: Maybe the hrt is ACTUALLY doing it’s job!!  Like, I have almost no ill feelings or dysphoria.  I am actually pretty chipper!  And the dysphoria I do have is minimal, and able to be controlled.  Does that make is dysphoria still?  Well, of course it does, silly goose.  I’m just able to keep a lid on it, thanks to the hrt(hopefully) or a pretty damn good placebo effect!

Maybe this is why I’m questioning everything.  The hrt isn’t popping off like the stories I’ve read online, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t doing anything.  It’s got to do something, although my last blood draw would suggest otherwise.  I may have been discounting the emotional in favor of the physical, ya know?  Either way,  I think I am going to ride this train out until my next blood draw and endo appointment.  I will make an appointment(If I can) with Eli (Psych) in December because I need to talk to him.  I also need to talk with the SO with more frequency about these feelings, although if she is reading this, then she already knows.  I know that the current climate is a big turnoff towards transition; also, I may not need to. I thought I did. Maybe I need to read my blog and see what is going on.  IDK???!!!???!?! I am definitely one confused bunny…

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