You Know What?

I am having massive doubts about transition right now. Chalk it up to dysphoria, my weakened mental state – hell, I don’t know what.

I can’t see any changes, except in the breast area. It’s clear that I don’t pass as a woman, even while wearing women’s clothing

right now I feel like packing it in, calling time on all the bullshit. there are only two options however. go back to being a guy full time or suicide, and i don’t fancy either of those options, atm.

hopefully, i will pull through this unscathed.. it must be my mental state causing this dysphoria, and pushing me to be too hard on myself. no, that’s not right either. i think it is me taking an honest look at myself and realizing some amazing limitations – it sucks, and i feel horrible right now.

all i keep thinking is that maybe tomorrow will be better. maybe this crushing feeling that i am fooling myself will go away. fuck me, i am in a bad spot now…

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s