Yesterday was my visit with my Endo, Dr. Tangpricha, down at Emory University. So, who is kind enough to come with me for every appointment, drove as usual, and we got there about 20-30 minutes early.
After getting all checked in and waiting, we were called back to the office. Dr. Tangpricha is a nice, kind-hearted man. We discussed my current medical regime, and he showed me the numbers from my last blood test. Everything was good, with testosterone coming in at <20ng. Perfect, so no real testosterone flowing through my body. Yay!! But he still seems to think that the estrogen is not in its’ sweet spot. So,n down to the lab we would go after this appointment was over, to have blood drawn . One thing that is perfectly clear: IM injections work so much better than pills, for me.
Dr. T. then asked about my breasts and if I felt any growth. I told him about the nipple budding and hard rock feeling behind them. He said this was normal, which I already knew, and said had me lay down for a quick exam. Both he and I were pleased with the minor growth.
One other thing I should mention about the appointment itself – I now weigh 177 pounds. I haven’t weighed this little in a long time, and it isn’t by choice. I like where I am, but wonder where the extra 5-10 pounds would go, if I were to put that on?
I lied. There is one more thing concerning the appointment that I wanted to write about, dear readers of the page. And that is the fact that yesterday may have been the first time I wore a dress with leggings out of the house other than to a friends house. I wore this cure dress with black leggings, and I thought, at least, that I looked kinda pretty in that damn dress. Rockin’ it! And Egg (that is another name for SO, which will be used interchangeably from here on out) did my hair so it was looking stylish. I had on my black fake combat boots. And guess what? I didn’t explode. No one actually said anything, although I saw some double takes and quick looks. We went to Chuey’s for some tex-mex (YUMMY, usually. Although, yesterday was an exception) and I got more exposure. I didn’t think that wearing a dress would be such an obstacle, and big moment in my brain. After all, I have worn dresses in public before. Those times, though, were not with the explicit nature that is transition. But here I was yesterday wearing my awesome dress, and feeling extremely comfortable! Next up, Father’s day! I’m busting up in those restaurants with my twirling dress, and hopefully I will feel as comfortable. I know, with my family, at least, there will be some issue. Not so with Egg’s family. Yeah, her dad is not the most accepting of the family , in general, he seems to make an effort not to deadname me, as does the rest of their family. My side – it’s just deadname all the way through. Fuck them for that. grrr argh…they care more about their reputation, I guess. At least, that is one of the things they brought up when I came out to them. Fuck em for that. Maybe tomorrow will be different, or the start of losing that damn deadname. Just let it go, please.