So, deadnaming, dear readers of the page, and for those of you who don’t know, is using a trans person’s name which was assigned at birth. If I had full control over my name back then, I probably would have had a different name!
Sometimes, people forget and deadname a trans person. It’s understandable once or twice. Three times and more (okay, maybe more than three) then there is a problem somewhere.
With my family, it is willful ignorance. I have even given them an easier name to use, so they don’t have to worry about calling me Sophia. And one of my sisters is part of the rainbow family. I expect her to make more of an effort, but sadly, like a lot of cis lgb people, she can’t seem to be bothered with gendering me correctly. Both of my sisters are on FB, as well as my brother-in-law. They have absolutely no excuse. They are probably more worried about their own comfort over mine. They probably don’t know that continually deadnaming a trans person is an act of violence.
My parents get a pass, albeit a small teeny tiny one. They are elders, and apparently set in their ways. It would be nice if I could…well nevermind. Just sayin’ there is going to come a time where deadnaming me is going to make them (or me) look ridiculous, plus open me up to more potential violence.
Can you tell that I am getting zero support from my blood relatives?? And it does suck. You read all these great stories about parents unconditionally supporting their trans children – welp that will not be happening in my family. I’ve upset their little bubble, I suppose. They will be forced to deal with me when we go out for family functions. I was going to wear a dress for Father’s day lunch, but opted out at the last minute. Sure, nerves played a part, but the overriding feeling was that it was a day for the guys, and not for me. So, I put the dress back, and decided on my standard black on black on black. Still stylish, just a little less controversial. But not next holiday, or next visit to the parent’s house.
Anyway, this is more than I intended to write about the family. It’s not like they read this, even though I gave them address. Whatever – I am gonna go de-pissyfy myself right now. Hey, if the Bard can make up words, I can as well!!!!