Welcome To July!

Yes, dear readers of the page, it is July, the best month out of the whole year, as it is my birth month. Yeah, it’s stupid hot outside this month, and it has been raining every day, at least once.  Also, July is one month closer to October, the best month out of the entire year. Scratch what I said about July, lol.

No major transition-related news for me. I continue to take my hrt, although that is about it. I still have my deep voice, and continue to get sir’d even while wearing women’s clothing. This shit is seriously annoying. If you aren’t sure, don’t guess. It is best to just drop the sir, and continue with the conversation, ya know?? Obviously not – assholes.

Anyway, last night one of my Friends told me about a friend of hers who has  young trans daughter. So beautiful – the parents are totally accepting and are actively taking a roll in their daughters transition.  She is young, and not my relation, so I won’t write too much about her, accept to say that she is definitely a brave little toaster. She has been shielded from the ugly side of teh trans, but she is still really young.

It would have been so amazing to have such an awareness when I was young! Instead of running around, kicking a ball, I could have transitioned, then started running around, kicking a ball.  But let’s face it – it wasn’t a clear case, as it is with my Friend’s friend’s daughter. I didn’t know when I was two, but I definitely had an idea something was different about me at age 15-16. If, if, if….

Talking to my Friend made me realize another thing.  I am in stasis, atm. That needs to change. I am about to be out of a job soon, and will have to stat the entire process of looking for a job all over again. I will be faced with looking for a job as my true, authentic self, or that meat sack known as previous me. and this shit is going to give me ulcers again. I hate looking for a job. Even moreso since I have begun transition.

Fuck, I need to talk to Eli today. I cannot afford to go, but I need to make contact, so that I can go in the next few months. Maybe…

I still need 3500$ for my orchi. I don’t know how I’m gonna get that kind of money but I need it to take the next step in my transition, ya know. Fuck, things are probably going to get bad for me really soon if I don’t pick up the slack at work.  The problem is – I hate my job!  I hate sales, and I suck at it.  Maybe it is a case of manifesting negative shit, but it was the kind of job I had no business trying my hand at anyway, given my direct and indirect hatred of the sales process, and everything that entails! Blah

Next step – get in touch with Eli, see if he is still in town, and schedule an appointment, if he will still work with me. I ned ome fucking therapy, hahahaha!!


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