Welcome December!

Welp, dear readers of the page, it’s December, the last month of the year, and guess what?  I’m still sick. I feel like I’ve been sick most of this year, on and off. Last night, I had to go to bed at 6pm. The pain was pretty intense, and it looks like my gardener may have quit, or is distancing himself from me, so I don’t have access to the good medicine. I’m not talking about the pills and shots that fucking doctors make me take. I am talking about the green, life-giving leaf and its buds. Oh wells, I guess I will have to do without. I’ve done it before, just not in a long time.

It’s December, and the holidays are upon us. I consider the holidays for this time of year to start with Thanksgiving, as I’m sure many do. Winter Solstice is on the 21st and Christmas day is on the 25th. It’s not like I will be getting tons of gifts this year, and neither will Egg. I do wish that I could hold down a damn job so that I could get her more during this time of year. I have gotten her a few things, but nothing major. That sucks, because if anyone deserves presents, it’s her. She is my life, and my rock. Damn, I feel like shit about now. 😦

Another poopy thing about the holidays, and Christmas in particular, is that we will have to make trips to both families. Honestly, I love Egg’s side of the family, but damn, they live so far from us. It’s like 45 minutes away, and in one of the whitest counties that I’ve been to. I don’t think I’ve seen a person of color yet. Oh well, as long as we are safe, I am okay. And really, Egg’s side of the fam treats me so well. They respect my pronoun and name choice. They always call me Sophia (or some variation thereof). It makes me feel good. Also, I don’t have to watch my potty mouth, as I do around my family. And there are no little kids, which honestly, is great. I love my nephews and niece, but they are young, and it’s always a wild house when we visit.

Christmas dinner, or lunch – whatever – will be at my parents this year. That’s cool.  I know that there may not be many more years, so I need to savor each time I spend with my parents. Hell, they are older, but in good health, relatively speaking. Fuck me, they are actually in better health than me, lol. Sucks. But that doesn’t discount that they are elderly, and have problems with bones and joints and things like that. Hopefully, they will live long enough to come around to calling me Sophia. I am constantly deadnamed at my parents place. Sucks. What sucks even more, is my sister, part of the rainbow family still deadnames me, too. It’s like she doesn’t even care. I guess I shouldn’t care so much. I know who I am. I’ve not really needed validation from her, or even my parents, before, so I don’t know why I’m trippin’ now. Well, I will let it go for now. It will be interesting to see how this Christmas will be, haha.

Well, dear readers of the page, I’m done with this entry. I’m gonna drop a pic. It’s amazing what a smile will hide, huh?



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