Damn FFS Post

Damn FFS post that I just wrote disappeared. This will be an abbreviated version then. I am now seriously considering ffs. I have come to see it as medically necessary, in terms of my dysphoria, and my safety.

I looked at Dr. Spiegel’s work, as he is highly recommended. I am going to check out Facial Team (I think that is the name). However, they are in Spain, and I really don’t want to travel to Spain. There have to be other surgeons. Any recommendations would be helpful.

I don’t have the money to pay for it, but I will try to find a way. My credit sucks, so that is not an option. My Egg may be able to finance it, but I don’t think I could ever ask her to put ourselves back in a situation where we have to declare bankruptcy again. Key word being again.

So, dear readers of the page, I am in a poopy place. Broke and trans. Not really passing much at all. I mean, sometimes people outside of my immediate circle will gender me correctly, but it’s few and far between. And when I open my mouth – fuggitaboutit!!

I still want the orchi and name change in 2018. Maybe by 2020, I can have a way to pay for ffs. I would take it today if twenty thousand just dropped in my lap. Shit like that doesn’t happen to me, though. Not like I don’t have help. I do. But I cannot go through those channels for transition-related shit. Grrrr…argh! Happy holidays, dysphoria, my old friend…


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