Hey there, dear readers of the page! Sorry I haven’t written recently, but I started a new job – a new full time job, so I don’t have as much free time as I used to.
Work life is good, with the single, and most glaring exception that I am working under my deadname. Sucks, but I needed money. We needed money. If I am going to get an orchi this year and change my name/gender, well, that take money money money. So, off to work I go, masquerading as an all-but-dead man named ______.
I work in the dental insurance field, in a call center, so there is quite a lot of training and such going on, especially with HIPAA and stuff. Yesterday, one of my training mates, bless her heart, asked a question that goes something like this, “If someone named Sue calls in, but clearly he’s a man…blah, blah, blah.” I cringed internally, then kind of chuckled when I realized that some people just don’t have the language for trans people, and some people DO, but just don’t want to accept that we are valid human beings and such. I’m pretty sure 95% percent of the people I am training with accept me at face value, that is male. But when I was in line to get food the other day, I was called ma’am, and that was validating. Little victories, you know?
I’ve had to tone down my dress for the time being. I wear collared shirts maybe twice or thrice a week, while wearing female clothes the rest of the week. I’ve had to take my nail polish off for the time being, just until I get the lay of the land. I may just be a weekend warrior for nail polish. We have a 3 day weekend coming up – Martin Luther King, Jr. birthday celebration. This is the first time that I’ve had a job that gives this day off. Maybe there will be some color in my drab nail life soonly!
I know part of all this is setting me back a bit, but I have to transition in a way that works for me AND Egg. We are both going to need money, and I will be able to help out. Also, I feel like if I need to hide my fabulous identity a little longer, I will be alright; whereas before, I would be trippin, you know?! Now, I see the bigger pic. I’m out to everybody except work, and I can see this happening much like at Comcast, where my desire to be Sophia 100% will outstrip and outweigh my desire for anonymity. That is not a problem for me, but I don’t want it to affect my chances to go permanent, as this is temp-to-perm.
Okay, that is enough for this update. It is currently 3:40 AM. I think I will try to get a couple more hours of sleep. Probably won’t happen, but it’s worth the shot. Until later, dear readers of the page, Good Morning!!