Kid Problems

One of my best friends has two beautiful, wonderful girls, aged 6 and 4 (I think). Everything has been hunky dory as far as transition goes with both of them. They both call me Sophia, which is great! And up until recently, the six year old has been using the correct pronouns. But these last couple of visits, she keeps on saying “you’re not a girl. You’re a boy.” Now, she’s young, and it has never happened in public, so I try to use it as a coaching moment. Sure, it stings a bit, but her reasoning is a rather astute observation for one so young. She says that I have to be a boy because my voice sounds like a boy. And here we are again. No matter how much I explain, no matter how many books or videos I show her, I think she is always going to revert to this way of thinking. And I know it’s jarring to EVERYBODY who comes in contact with me what with the way I dress and then I open my fucking mouth. One of the shitty things that older trans women have to address. To modulate the voice or not. If not, then one has to expect a lot of stares, and some outright rudeness and transphobia. It sucks, but in this cis heteronormative environment one must expect the worst, and be pleasantly surprised with the good.

Maybe I need to have a talk with her mama, my best friend. I don’t want any friction, but there is going to come a time when out in public and she slips up and she won’t know any better, but I will be totally embarrassed.

I bought a book by Sophie Labelle.  She writes cartoons about gender issues surrounding trans and cis kids. I hope this can be a good tool to convey my feelings with no ill will toward either of them. And there is no ill will. It’s just that once is a mistake. Anything after that and the kid is doing some serious questioning of my gender based on clothing and such vs. my fucking voice.

Everybody used to tell me I had a great speaking voice. But fuck, it is so hard to change it. Halp!!!!


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