Well, dear readers of the page, today is my personal day of hell, otherwise known as bowel prep. Surgery is tomorrow, so the surgeon wants me squeaky clean. What this means for me is no solid food at all today. Starting at 12am and going through tomorrow.
Bowel prep proper starts at 12pm with one bottle of magnesium citrate and three dulcolax pills. From there it just gets worse. I have to drink another half bottle of mag citrate at 10pm. 10 mother fucking pm! I am usually in bed between 8-9pm. How the fuck am I going to stay up that long? Then, after pooping my guts out, I will go to bed for a few hours, before waking up at 4am to give myself a fleet enema. Yay. Then a shower with anti bacterial soap for 10 minutes, before heading off to the hospital.
I certainly hope surgery is early in the morning tomorrow. The earlier, the better. I hate waiting around and will definitely want to eat some yummy hospital food again, before hopefully being released on Wednesday, so that I can eat better food. As you all can tell, my thoughts are all about yummy food.
We went to the continental breakfast this morning so Egg could get some food. It all looked so delicious, and I couldn’t have any of it. Instead, I had two glasses of apple juice. I’m drinking Sprite right now. I can’t have orange juice because it has pulp in it. NO pulp. Oh well, that’s all I have right now.
p.s. We walked to Target this morning to get some liquid for me, and some provisions for Egg. That was fun. But now, I need to be near a toilet, hahaha.
Well, dear readers of the page, me and Egg made it to Philly today. It is only 3pm and I am exhausted. We have been up since 4am. The flight was good, but when we got to the hotel, we found out that we wouldn’t be able to check in until at least 3pm. We got here at 11am, so we had to kill some time. We checked our bags with the hotel, and set out on foot to find some food and supplies. The food came in the form of the Hard Rock Cafe, and get this: our server was from Roswell, and he went to school at the same high school as Egg. He graduated many years after her, though (don’t you feel old, Egg?)
After lunch, we went to CVS to gather some supplies for my liquid diet and bowel prep, which starts tomorrow. Now, we are ensconced in the hotel room resting up. It has been a long day, and there’s still more of it to come.
That’s all for now. I’ll post more later.
Well, dear readers of the page, I have some exciting news. Today, I finished payment on my surgery. All monies paid. Surgery is a go, although I haven’t heard from the hospital yet, but that shouldn’t be a problem. So now, excitement mixed with splash of nervousness thrown in takes overs until they knock me out!
We finally got the total surgeons fee for surgery, and it was a larger number than we expected. Thankfully, the surgeon will take partial payment. So, today, we paid 2500 dollars. The rest will be due on the 12th. I am immensely thankful for my wonderful Egg, who came up with a solution which means we will be able to cover the surgeons fee.
The hospital still hasn’t called with their portion, but Egg assures me that since I have Medicare(which I didn’t know about until two weeks ago), they(the hospital) acannot request payment upfront. I don’t know how true this is, but right now it’s all we can go on. And I hope to the gods that it is true. Because that will be a big mess if not. i don’t know what we’ll do.
Anyway, dear readers of the page, that is really all i wanted to share at the moment. I am just thrilled to have a partial payment on the books.
I just got a call from my surgeon about my Crohn’s disease medications. The first thing she said was that there would be a problem with my Crohn’s and the meds I take to control it. I had to assure her that I have taken extensive breaks before. The issue has something to do with healing.
Ideally, she said, I should have stopped last week. No problem, I said. I will stop as of now. Nothing is going to stop me from having this surgery. I am willing to stop the Cimzia and the methotrexate for about a month and a half, in order to get this taken care of.
Also, I will have to go through the icky bowel prep/clearing, per my surgeon. Even though Ia am not having full depth surgery, she says it will still be helpful in order to create the divot. Things are getting real now. Whew!
Hey there, dear readers of the page! Just checking in. I don’t have too much to write about today. It is officially 21 days until surgery, and I still haven’t paid for it. So annoying, but Egg is holding onto the money with a vice grip. I’m thankful for that, because I would have spent some of it by now. Such control she has. We have gotten some supplies, but have yet to get all we need. I still have two doctors appointments this month, so that is another $70-$80 dollars that will have to be spent. And that doesn’t include the cost of refilling medications. But I have all the meds I need for surgery , minus the bowel prep stuff. I don’t think I need bowel prep, as I’m doing zero depth surgery, but it may help me not poop all over the place afterwards.
I am pretty calm and centered, and not nervous…yet! I am hoping that my surgery ptsd does not creep in. As y’all may or may not know, I had a pretty traumatic surgery in 2007 where I almost died and was in ICU for a number of days. I was in the worst pain of my life, and didn’t think I would make it out alive. But I did. And oddly enough, those thoughts haven’t really crept in my brain in a traumatic way. I mean, I am making a will just in case. Me and Egg needed to make one anyway, so we did. We have to have it signed by two witnesses in front of a notary public, so my parents will be handling that part of the process. Thanks guys!
Anyway, that’s all I got now. Time keeps on ticking down, and I’m sure anxiety will come in after we reach ten days before. But for now, everything is chill.
Yep, dear readers of the page, I am one step closer to surgery. I had my physical today. I had to wait until no earlier than 30 days before surgery. But the results have to be in two weeks before, so I went in earlier, rather than try to wait a week or two. Nah, I got my physical and lab work taken care of on day twenty eight of thirty. And I got back home before it started raining. I went to the gracery, and dropped off my surgical prescriptions. They should be ready in a couple days. So, all in all, I’m feeling really good about preparations. Hopefully, everything will continue smoothly. The next big hurtle and stressor is the actual payment. The surgery has not been paid for yet, which really sucks. I do have a pretty good idea how much the out of pocket will be, but the numbers weren’t finalized, and shit can change.
Other than payment, and faxing of all lab work/physical information, everything is in place. Now, to work on the mental. I know there will be pain, so I think I am getting ready for the amount of pain I could potentially face. Hoping for minimal, expecting maximum. Maybe, I will be pleasantly surprised. I doubt it, though. Pain demands to be felt.
Yay! Dear readers of the page, I have some awesome news to share with y’all. Last night, after three weeks of stalls, we made it to a trans support group meeting! Both Egg and I were nervous, but I think excitement was the overriding emotion for me. I went in not knowing what to expect, but came out with such a positive glow up that we will definitely be going again. I would like to go every week leading up to surgery, but I don’t know if that will be possible given Egg’s work schedule. The meeting is held near our place, so there may even be a chance of me driving there by myself, in the event that Egg can’t go. It would have to be later in the summer though, when the sun sets later in the evening.
It felt good to be around other trans people, my first time IRL. And there was a diversity, both in age and ethnicity, that I didn’t expect. All in all, a good time was had by both me and Egg. Hopefully, this is the beginning of some new friends, or at least a way to get out of the house more, and hang with some cool peeps who understand the struggle.
It is a sad morning in the LBC, dear readers of the page. One of our two remaining cats, Spike, passed, then crossed over the Rainbow Bridge early this morning. He was such a great cat, full of vigor and life, loving until the end. Sorry to see you go, my friend. Have a great trip, wherever you may go next.
Well, dear readers of the page, it is therapy day, and I’m excited to see Kristine. We only have therapy once a month now, mainly because it’s so damn expensive. $140 per hour. Less expensive than my last therapist, but still expensive for a Gal without a job (thanks family for paying for these sessions). This will also be my last session before surgery, so I want to maximize my time with her. She has seen me at my worst, all suicidal and shit, so it’s good that she sees me doing relatively well. Anyhoo, that’s all I’ve got for now. Pics attached for reference.