Colonoscopy Scheduled

Okay, dear readers of the page, I finally did it. I scheduled my colonoscopy for May 8 at 12:30 pm. I have Crohn’s disease (if you don’t know what Crohn’s disease is, I encourage you to use your favorite search engine and take a gander) and haven’t had a colonoscopy in about 2 years. This is abnormal for me, as I have had at least one colonoscopy per year for the last 6-7 years, excepting the last two.

I am feeling shitty, and since I ran out of the green medication, the pain has increased twofold, along with other symptoms, such as bloody diarrhea, painful cramping of the large and small intestines, as well as cramping in my legs and feet, hands and arms. I am experiencing nausea, and other symptoms also. I don’t think the medication I’m currently taking is working.

The prep for the colonoscopy sucks. Basically, I cannot have solid foods for close to 16-20 hours.  The food* that I can have consists of chicken or beef broth, gatorade (any color except red or purple, as it will mimic blood in my intestines), stuff like coffee and tea. Basically all liquids. And the prep is going to suck. I will probably be up for most of the night before the procedure.

It’s necessary, though. I need to find out what’s going on in there. My big fear is that the colonoscopy will show…nothing. That is one of the worst case scenarios. I guess another worst case scenario would be needing a bag. But that may not be too bad, except for having to acclimate to it.

If they don’t find anything, then my mind may spiral. I’d hate to think I’m making this pain up. It can’t be true though; something has to be wrong. TBH, I’m a little nervous that they won’t find anything. I guess this is, indeed, my biggest fear. That it is psychosomatic. Oh wells, nothing to do know except wait and take it as easy as possible until the 6th of May.

May is shaping up to be a busy month for me. I will be seeing all but my primary physician and my therapist. I really need to see my fucking therapist, but his fee is high at 180$ per one hour session, with no insurance. I am going to have to get back into him though, so I can get letters for my orchiectomy. But that’s another story to be told in another post.

Thanks for reading, dear readers of the page. Stay tuned to whilehavingtea for more information.


Check In

Hey dear readers of the page! How are ya’ll doing> I’ve been better. My Crohn’s disease is outta control, which is nothing new, except that it is getting to be pre-2007 bad, and that really sucks. In 2007, I had almost two feet of my small and large intestines removed. Yeah, the surgery was extremely traumatic for me, and left me with a fear of surgery that I am going to have to get over if I ever want to get my orchi.

I still don’t have a job; honestly though, I don’t think in my current condition, that I could hold down a job. No joke, I am in the bathroom at least 10-15 times a day. It’s getting ridiculous.

I’m anemic, and I am still losing blood. Not a lot. But enough to register on the labs I recently took. I am anemic, but not enough to start i.v. iron. I can’t tolerate other forms, and have tried pills and liquid mixed in V8 to cut the taste (it’s truly awful. Tastes like a mouthful of pennies).

Random – Have y’all heard the new Bleachers’ album? I really like it. I wanted to see them in concert, but the tix are fairly expensive. Okay, not really; but high enough to not make the 1.5 hour trip to see them. Oh wells…

I’ve been practicing make makeup skills. I think I have the basics down, such as foundation and such. I am still not good with eyeliner, nor am I good with eye shadow. Hell, I am better than last year, but still lacking. I hate that I feel like I need to wear makeup, but I have a beard shadow, and I like to have it covered up, call me crazy , lol! Electro is expensive and may give me some scars and a lot of mental and physical pain and anguish. There has to be another way, damn!

My voice is still a problem. It is deep. I can get into an androgynous range, and that is cool. I definitely need more practice, and need confidence to use my voice with family, friends, and randoms.

Enough for now, dear readers of the page. i am going to leave y’all with a pic dump from this morning’s beat session. have a great day!!!!

Job Go Bye Bye

And just like that, dear readers of the page, I am without a job. I was notified last week that my services were no longer required. I guess I understand. Really, I do. But damn, another job lost to this disease. My Crohn’s was making me use the bathroom an astronomical amount of times, and when I went to the doctor on President’s Day, I found out I had C-diff. Actually, I found out about the c-diff as I was walking into work Tuesday Morning. I was contagious, and had to leave work. Plus, I was just super tired from all the blood loss and bathroom trips.

Now, I will have to start my job journey all over. But first, I need to get better, physically, and mentally. Being sick takes a lot out of you, ya know?

Sick Of Being Sick

I guess this is what happens, dear readers of the page, when I go to the gastro. I find out just how sick I actually am. My Crohn’s is active, we know that; but now, I find out I also have been walking around with c-diff for who knows how long!!! And I’m contagious, yay! I should clarify that being contagious with c-diff is a little different. Basically, every time I went to the bathroom, I would have to take disinfectant wipes to clean the toliet. With the amount of time I spend in the bathroom on the daily, it doesn’t make any sense for me to be at work with the potential to infect many people.

I started vancomycin last night, and will be on a rigorous schedule of antibiotics. In additon, I started taking methotrexate 1ml injections every week. Double yay! I swear, this is why people hate going to the doctor. It is an absolute pain in the ass and I always come out with more meds to take or some form of bad new. Phew!

C-diff is serious, and can land me in the hospital, or worse! Look it up y’all.  It’s kind of a gross infection, and the treatment can involve feces, lol. I love my life!!!

Crohn’s Got Me Like…

Alright, dear readers of the page, sorry for not writing sooner. I have been seriously under the weather lately. My Crohn’s disease has been in full effect recently. Yesterday, and last night, I feared that I was going to have to make a trip to the ER. I’m so glad I didn’t have to, as I’ve recently heard horror stories about Crohnies going to the ER with extreme pain and suffering, and not getting any pain meds or relief, other than Tylenol. Honestly, this scares me. My last trip to the ER ended up with surgery and an extended stay in the ICU.

The pain yesterday was insane. Egg did some Google-Fu and came up with a possible solution.  Apparently, while in a flare, Crohnies can lust after sunflower seeds. My desire for these tasty treats outweighed my common sense. I had sunflower seeds with the shells on. Those mother fucking shells ripped my insides up. Yet, I continued to eat them. I guess the salt was pushing me on. Anyway, shelled sunflower seeds are supposed to be good for me, as it has good fatty oils and such. I really don’t know anything about that. I do know that I was craving them hardcore, like I’ve craved pickles in the past. We are going to get the shelled version, and I am going to go to town.

Work is going well. I’m a little nervous though, as there is a policy in place that we only get 6 minutes to use the bathroom throughout the day. This is not including two ten minute breaks and a thirty minute lunch. Now, that may sound like a lot of time to you all, dear readers, but to a Crohnie that may not be nearly enough time. Unfortunately, it is a whole process of filling out forms and clocking out and confirming with the supervisor. All I know is I won’t have time for that shit; when I have to go, I have to go right then. Can’t wait.

I have a colonoscopy on Jan 9. It still hasn’t been approved by work, and I will have to make a decision as to whether to keep it and risk losing my job, or cancelling it and risk losing some more of my intestines. I think, with the way I have been feeling recently, I will keep it. I REALLY don’t want to have another surgery. Shit, I need to get my orchi next year, and I will probably waffle on that, too. We’ll see.

Okay y’all, my gardener just arrived. Time for me to pull some weeds. I’ll write more later. Enjoy!