Dinner Party

Egg and I went to a dinner party. It is an annual holiday get together between my mom (and our family) and my mom’s best friend and her family. It is always a good time, filled with food and good conversation. We miss these get togethers quite a lot, because, in the past, I have traditionally been working on the night the party takes place. Since I do not currently have a job, and Egg’s job is M-F 9-5, we were able to attend this year.

It is also the first year that I have attended since I started transition. Of course, being that my family would be there, I knew I was going to be deadnamed left and right, and true to plan, it happened. Funny thing, though. It wasn’t our friends family that deadnamed me, it was mine. Ha Ha Ha, I guess. My sisters don’t, and won’t, even try. So infuriating! My mothers’s best friend tried her best, bless her heart. She is old school, like my mom, so all this is new to her. The difference between her and my mother is that she is trying. She gave me a big hug, told me she loved me, and that she was very proud of me. That’s a great start, and kind of caught me off guard, in a good way. Her daughter is brilliant, and is leading the charge to recognize me as Sophia. Multiple times she called me Sophia in front of the whole room, making sure everyone heard her. Excellent, again. Of course, it didn’t take with my family. Pretty soon though, there is going to have to be a change, as I continue to grow and change into my authentic self, and they will be the ones left embarrassed, instead of me.

So let me shout out Pat and Cara. Pat is my mom’s bestie, and Cara is her daughter. Cara is the one spearheading the change in her family. Cara’s boyfriend and her brother didn’t jump at the opportunity to call me Sophia, but they didn’t deadname me either. I rather prefer that, you know. If you cannot bring yourself to call me Sophia, then don’t call me at all. We can talk, but don’t deadname me, which they didn’t.

Egg, as always, was wonderful, and I know she feels bad about my family deadnaming me. Literally, my family, and my work situation (I have an interview on the 27th under deadname) are the only people who are continuously deadnaming me. I don’t know how to impress on my fucking sisters that this is not cool. Even my lesbian sister cannot get with the program. My other sister uses the excuse that it will confuse her kids, but come on, we all know that kids are the most malleable, especially if you catch them at a young enough age, which they are. My sisters just flat out refuse to be the shining beacon that Cara is for her family.  Stacee and Stephanie (my sisters. I’m calling you out) could learn a thing or two from Cara, you know.

The party was fun. It was great catching up with everyone, and I was, on a personal note, pleased with my makeup and general look for the night. Pics below. Thanks for reading, dear readers of the page!

Welcome December!

Welp, dear readers of the page, it’s December, the last month of the year, and guess what?  I’m still sick. I feel like I’ve been sick most of this year, on and off. Last night, I had to go to bed at 6pm. The pain was pretty intense, and it looks like my gardener may have quit, or is distancing himself from me, so I don’t have access to the good medicine. I’m not talking about the pills and shots that fucking doctors make me take. I am talking about the green, life-giving leaf and its buds. Oh wells, I guess I will have to do without. I’ve done it before, just not in a long time.

It’s December, and the holidays are upon us. I consider the holidays for this time of year to start with Thanksgiving, as I’m sure many do. Winter Solstice is on the 21st and Christmas day is on the 25th. It’s not like I will be getting tons of gifts this year, and neither will Egg. I do wish that I could hold down a damn job so that I could get her more during this time of year. I have gotten her a few things, but nothing major. That sucks, because if anyone deserves presents, it’s her. She is my life, and my rock. Damn, I feel like shit about now. 😦

Another poopy thing about the holidays, and Christmas in particular, is that we will have to make trips to both families. Honestly, I love Egg’s side of the family, but damn, they live so far from us. It’s like 45 minutes away, and in one of the whitest counties that I’ve been to. I don’t think I’ve seen a person of color yet. Oh well, as long as we are safe, I am okay. And really, Egg’s side of the fam treats me so well. They respect my pronoun and name choice. They always call me Sophia (or some variation thereof). It makes me feel good. Also, I don’t have to watch my potty mouth, as I do around my family. And there are no little kids, which honestly, is great. I love my nephews and niece, but they are young, and it’s always a wild house when we visit.

Christmas dinner, or lunch – whatever – will be at my parents this year. That’s cool.  I know that there may not be many more years, so I need to savor each time I spend with my parents. Hell, they are older, but in good health, relatively speaking. Fuck me, they are actually in better health than me, lol. Sucks. But that doesn’t discount that they are elderly, and have problems with bones and joints and things like that. Hopefully, they will live long enough to come around to calling me Sophia. I am constantly deadnamed at my parents place. Sucks. What sucks even more, is my sister, part of the rainbow family still deadnames me, too. It’s like she doesn’t even care. I guess I shouldn’t care so much. I know who I am. I’ve not really needed validation from her, or even my parents, before, so I don’t know why I’m trippin’ now. Well, I will let it go for now. It will be interesting to see how this Christmas will be, haha.

Well, dear readers of the page, I’m done with this entry. I’m gonna drop a pic. It’s amazing what a smile will hide, huh?

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