Partial Payment

We finally got the total surgeons fee for surgery, and it was a larger number than we expected. Thankfully, the surgeon will take partial payment. So, today, we paid 2500 dollars. The rest will be due on the 12th. I am immensely thankful for my wonderful Egg, who came up with a solution which means we will be able to cover the surgeons fee.

The hospital still hasn’t called with their portion, but Egg assures me that since I have Medicare(which I didn’t know about until two weeks ago), they(the hospital) acannot request payment upfront. I don’t know how true this is, but right now it’s all we can go on. And I hope to the gods that it is true. Because that will be a big mess if not. i don’t know what we’ll do.

Anyway, dear readers of the page, that is really all i wanted to share at the moment. I am just thrilled to have a partial payment on the books.

Call From The Surgeon

I just got a call from my surgeon about my Crohn’s disease medications. The first thing she said was that there would be a problem with my Crohn’s and the meds I take to control it. I had to assure her that I have taken extensive breaks before. The issue has something to do with healing.

Ideally, she said, I should have stopped last week. No problem, I said. I will stop as of now. Nothing is going to stop me from having this surgery. I am willing to stop the Cimzia and the methotrexate for about a month and a half, in order to get this taken care of.

Also, I will have to go through the icky bowel prep/clearing, per my surgeon. Even though Ia am not having full depth surgery, she says it will still be helpful in order to create the divot. Things are getting real now. Whew!

Just Checking In

Hey there, dear readers of the page! Just checking in. I don’t have too much to write about today. It is officially 21 days until surgery, and I still haven’t paid for it. So annoying, but Egg is holding onto the money with a vice grip. I’m thankful for that, because I would have spent some of it by now. Such control she has.  We have gotten some supplies, but have yet to get all we need. I still have two doctors appointments this month, so that is another $70-$80 dollars that will have to be spent. And that doesn’t include the cost of refilling medications. But I have all the meds I need for surgery , minus the bowel prep stuff. I don’t think I need bowel prep, as I’m doing zero depth surgery, but it may help me not poop all over the place afterwards.

I am pretty calm and centered, and not nervous…yet! I am hoping that my surgery ptsd does not creep in. As y’all may or may not know, I had a pretty traumatic surgery in 2007 where I almost died and was in ICU for a number of days. I was in the worst pain of my life, and didn’t think I would make it out alive. But I did. And oddly enough, those thoughts haven’t really crept in my brain in a traumatic way. I mean, I am making a will just in case. Me and Egg needed to make one anyway, so we did. We have to have it signed by two witnesses in front of a notary public, so my parents will be handling that part of the process. Thanks guys!

Anyway, that’s all I got now. Time keeps on ticking down, and I’m sure anxiety will come in after we reach ten days before. But for now, everything is chill.

One Step Closer

Yep, dear readers of the page, I am one step closer to surgery. I had my physical today. I had to wait until no earlier than 30 days before surgery. But the results have to be in two weeks before, so I went in earlier, rather than try to wait a week or two. Nah, I got my physical and lab work taken care of on day twenty eight of thirty.  And I got back home before it started raining. I went to the gracery, and dropped off my surgical prescriptions. They should be ready in a couple days. So, all in all, I’m feeling really good about preparations. Hopefully, everything will continue smoothly. The next big hurtle and stressor is the actual payment. The surgery has not been paid for yet, which really sucks. I do have a pretty good idea how much the out of pocket will be, but the numbers weren’t finalized, and shit can change.

Other than payment, and faxing of all lab work/physical information, everything is in place. Now, to work on the mental. I know there will be pain, so I think I am getting ready for the amount of pain I could potentially face. Hoping for minimal, expecting maximum. Maybe, I will be pleasantly surprised. I doubt it, though. Pain demands to be felt.

Support Group

Yay! Dear readers of the page, I have some awesome news to share with y’all. Last night, after three weeks of stalls, we made it to a trans support group meeting! Both Egg and I were nervous, but I think excitement was the overriding emotion for me. I went in not knowing what to expect, but came out with such a positive glow up that we will definitely be going again. I would like to go every week leading up to surgery, but I don’t know if that will be possible given Egg’s work schedule. The meeting is held near our place, so there may even be a chance of me driving there by myself, in the event that Egg can’t go. It would have to be later in the summer though, when the sun sets later in the evening.

It felt good to be around other trans people, my first time IRL. And there was a diversity, both in age and ethnicity, that I didn’t expect. All in all, a good time was had by both me and Egg. Hopefully, this is the beginning of some new friends, or at least a way to get out of the house more, and hang with some cool peeps who understand the struggle.

The Rainbow Bridge

It is a sad morning in the LBC, dear readers of the page. One of our two remaining cats, Spike, passed, then crossed over the Rainbow Bridge early this morning. He was such a great cat, full of vigor and life, loving until the end. Sorry to see you go, my friend. Have a great trip, wherever you may go next.

Therapy Day

Well, dear readers of the page, it is therapy day, and I’m excited to see Kristine. We only have therapy once a month now, mainly because it’s so damn expensive. $140 per hour. Less expensive than my last therapist, but still expensive for a Gal without a job (thanks family for paying for these sessions). This will also be my last session before surgery, so I want to maximize my time with her. She has seen me at my worst, all suicidal and shit, so it’s good that she sees me doing relatively well. Anyhoo, that’s all I’ve got for now. Pics attached for reference.


Damn, dear readers of the page, trying to get disability is a big pain in the ass!! It has been a full year, and I am supposed to be on the fast track. Now, I find out by my disability that I have to go to see a state-approved therapist, because my fucking lovely therapist didn’t send in my paper work fast enough, and my psychiatrist did a shitty job filling out his paperwork. I am so pissed right now that the state sponsored therapist is going to deny me. I don’t think this is fair to me, because this therapist will only spend about 30 minutes with me, and that will determine if I am awarded disability. I have been working since the age of 16, and have had at least 50 jobs.

I am so pissed that I am shaking as I write this. I cannot believe that all of this is going to come down to one therapist, even though I have all my other doctors on board. I really need my therapist to call me back, and reassure me that she is on my side. I had a 4 month long depressive episode last year, for Satans sake! This is not normal. And even though I am not in an active episode right now, I know the patterns. Once I get a full time job, I’m good for about a month. Then my moods start to go to shit. My anxiety comes out. I start having to use the bathroom more. I can’t keep up with the commitments of the job, and then I am fired. MY last job, I lasted two months, then got sick with c-diff, which led to a 7 day hospital stay, and a 4 month depression after that. How the fuck can I work a full time job with a life like this. People just don’t know how hard it is to work in my life. I need a break, both for me and Egg, who works so hard for the both of us. I am still spitting mad so I’m gonna wrap this up now. Thanks for reading.

Atlanta United

Yesterday, dear readers of the page, we went to our first Atlanta United game at Mercedes Benz Stadium in the A. It was a fantastic experience, with the single exception being the purchase and retrieval of the tickets.

The stadium is cashless, so there are card machines set up to turn your cash into a card, then you can purchase whatever you want while in the stadium. They also take credit and debit cards, so that is good.

We had one of our besties, Michelle, meet us at our spot, then we drove to MARTA, and rode to the stadium. Once inside, we explored for a bit. It was pretty easy to get to from our doorstep, taking less than an hour. We just had to follow the throngs of five stripe supporters.

When we got our refreshments, we decided to find our seats. Wow! Our seats were the second to last row in the the entire stadium. We were almost behind the goal that ATL was attacking in the first half. The game itself was fun, but going up and down those steep stairs was a bitch, and kind of dangerous when mixed with yummy sixteen dollar margaritas, hahaha. The game ended in a 1-1 tie. I’m not sure how good the five stripes are going to do this year, but the experience was super fun. 10/10 would definitely do it again, although maybe not during the summer months. It is comfy in the stadium, but riding MARTA back home would be stifling.

Here are some pics:



So, in today’s wtf news, dear readers of the page, I almost lost out on my surgery due to a Medicare snafu. The surgeon, you see, does not take medicare, and this would have caused me to have to pay the full surgeons fee out of pocket. The surgeons fee is around twenty thousand dollars!!! Yikes! I actually started sweating, and I hardly ever sweat. I have been communicating with various agencies by phone and email.

Back in 2013, I was on disability. At that time, I guess (or so I’m told) I signed up for Medicare. When my disability ended in 2013, the Part B of medicare was cancelled. Part A, however, was not cancelled. This is what was causing the snafu. As the surgeons office was running my insurance, the medicare issue came up. After some time on the phone, I got it all cleared up.

BCBS is my primary insurance, through Egg’s work. Medicare, apparently, is on the policy as a backup. When the surgeons office ran the policy, they noticed the Medicare and automatically sent me a concerning email. So today, I have talked extensively to the surgeon’s office, to Medicare, and to SSN.  It is all cleared up now. BCBS is primary, so that is where the surgeons office will draw from. And, hopefully, the hospital will run both insurances, thereby reducing the out of pocket cost from the hospital. I hope that is how it will work  out, fingers crossed.

I am expecting another bump in the road; hopefully, though, it won’t be insurmountable. The stress will cause my lovely locs to fall out. And we’ve already got flight/room and board taken care. I don’t want anything silly to stop this surgery.

I have to get another physical, even though I had one in August. This is a pre-requisite for surgery. I also need lab work done, which I don’t have the paperwork for yet. But that will be a pretty penny, as I already owe lab corp for previous visits. That sucks, but it’s the way the cookie crumbles. So, lab work and the physical are the next hoops I have to jump through. And get this – I have to get this physical sometime between the 23rd of March and the 8th of April. My primary GP is out, because she really never has any good times. She is always scheduled at least a month or two out, which sucks. But my primary group has another doc, and my physical is scheduled for March 25th. Yay for the small things, right??!!??

All in all, a stressful morning, and a stressful month coming up. I just need to get through March, then tackle April. Hopefully, all will play out in our favour!